Social Networks – Why we love them.

From Facebook, Twitter and Myspace, to LinkedIn, Foursquare and Google Plus, social networking has exploded into the 21^st Century taking a large group of fans along with it. By how, and why, has this phenomenon become such a large part of our lives?

There are so many varying views as to why social networking is as appealing as it is. While some say that we explore the realms of social networks purely for social reasons, as in keeping in touch with old friend and family. Others say that social media is so attractive as it makes it easier to get information regarding products and services, in blogs and online magazines. Some sources even say that, because social networks are easy to use and access, people are so attracted to them for this reason.

World rankings

There is a huge number of social networks in the world; so many in fact, that we in South Africa haven’t even scratched the surface. Sure we have all of the popular sites which feature at the top of the list of favourites when it comes to statistics. However, according to a study done earlier this year there are over 2000 social networks listed. Facebook seems to be the clear favourite in our humble land of 14 million residents, but it only ranks number two in the USA. (With Twitter following at number seven, and Myspace featuring at number 68. – in China, Myspace is the 1881^st favourite)

South African favourite

Facebook and Twitter featured quite predominantly when asking a handful of South African networkers what social networks they were on. All of them said that they are on Facebook, while a few of them mentioned that they have Twitter accounts as well.  Staying in touch with family and friends the main reason for this as it is an easy way of keeping track of what is happening in their lives. While Facebook has the ‘social’ part of ‘social networking’ covered, Twitter brings us closer to the networking aspect. Twitter lets us follow all sorts of people, from celebrities and friends, to magazines and television broadcasters; twitter allows you to network with people similar to you, even you if you don’t know them.  And it’s free, which makes these networks even more attractive.

Three reasons you should join

According to blogger, Lisa Barone, there are 18 reasons to use social media; three of which are:

• Visibility: it’s easy to see what is happening in the lives of those you love, as well as stay up to date with current affairs.
• Who’s on show: Keeping up with the latest happening in showbiz and what shows are in the pipeline.
• Connect: You may have lost contact with a relative or friend and would like to catch up – chances are you’ll find them if you look hard enough.

Growth

Mark Zuckerburg, the creator of Facebook, initially created Facebook with network with friends at Harvard University. Little did he know that he would become the youngest billionaire at the tender age of 23? This was in 2008, three years later and Facebook has become a worldwide hit with everyone from the ten year old next door, to your grandmother – Social media knows no age. In 2008, it’s said that the amount of Twitter users grew by 959%.

There are far more positive attributes surrounding social media than there are negative, however, caution should always be taken when exploring them. Just remember to balance the amount of time you spend on social networks with the time you spend in actual social interactions. 

Dansko Launches in South Africa

In May this year Dansko footwear was launched in South Africa. They are a very successful and world renowned comfort shoe company; who, for 21 years, have been at the forefront of shoe design in creating a standard of excellence in comfort shoes.

Who are they?
Now you might be scratching your heads wondering, “What are Dansko shoes?” Well, they were created by American horse trainer Mandy Cabot and her Danish born husband, Peter Kellerjup and were modeled after the typical Danish clog. However, over the years they have created new designs and different styles of shoe in order to attract more clients; directly translated, ‘Dansko’ means “Danish shoe” which would explain their wide use of the clog design in many of their shoes.

An article written in the American magazine, Family News, explores five reasons why both women and men should try Dansko: Quality, comfort, style, durability and variety.

Quality

Freelance journalist, Rachel Jackson, recently wrote an overview of the shoes in which she states that Dansko shoes, clogs and sandals are built to last. Dansko makes their shoes from materials which, are not only environmentally friendly, but are also sturdy and can withstand long hours on your feet.

“People who love this shoe are loyal customers, says journalist Trevor Price, “and often wear nothing but Dansko.”

Comfort

Jackson states that Dansko shoes are specifically created to support all the parts of your feet. Dansko’s support is what creates all of the comfort. “When part of your foot is not supported by your shoes,” states Jackson, “you will find that you are not completely comfortable.”

Dansko has won numerous awards, including the APMA (American Podiatric Medical Association) which is only awarded to those who have a real medical solution for the treatment of painful feet.

Style

The brand’s heritage is based on ‘Euro Comfort’, and has become a worldwide phenomenon. Many celebrities have been spotted running errands and relaxing in Danskos. From Julia Roberts and Heidi Klum, to Sarah Jessica Parker and Tina Fey, Dansko is a celeb favourite. The brand has also been featured in movies such as “The Devil wears Prada” and “American Beauty”, as well as in the hit US television show, “Nurse Jacky”.

However, Price explains that while some like the Dansko style of the ‘clog’, many fashion critics have voiced their opinions that the shoes are a style ‘abomination’. As great as they are for the job and day spent running errands, they are definitely not the shoe to wear for a corporate meeting or a first date.

Durability

There are reports that the wearers of Dansko shoes wear them repeatedly for a number of years. Jackson says that they are made from the highest quality materials, which allow for comfort in running, walking or simply standing, and are supportive as well.

Price admits that while the shoes are well made and durable, Danskos can’t be re-soled. Since the sole is the ‘essence’ of the shoe design, this makes them difficult to replicate and the shoe will have to be discarded. 

Variety

“Dansko has worked hard over the years to come out with a variety of styles, colours and designs,” says Price. The shoes however, are clunky and heavy looking, which seems to weigh the whole shoe down, and they become the focal point. Jackson, on the other hand, says they while they may be heavy looking, they aren’t heavy shoes, and the comfort makes the shoe.

It’s your choice

If you’re worried that these may be something your granny wears, well consider this. Your granny may not know she’s trendy, but she will be well aware of how comfortable her feet feel. 

The Pros and Cons to Online Shopping.

Shopping online is becoming more and more popular, as most people don’t have the time (or the patience) to stand around in the long queues filling up the shopping malls. With one click you can enter a world where everything is sold in the same place. Clothes, electronics, DVDs, CDs and even stationary can be purchased with one simple “click” of the left mouse button. Sound too good to be true doesn’t it, well obviously there are cons to this fantastic invention as I discover while exploring this fascinating phenomenon call “The Internet Mall”

The benefits:

The benefits of online shopping are as follows: a huge variety of products for shoppers to choose from, which creates more choice for the purchaser. The suppliers are able offer more discounts and the products are still sold at competitive prices. Products can be outsourced from all over the globe which makes it much easier to find products not readily available in your country. The best part about shopping online is most certainly the fact that you can do it from the comfort of your own home.  

The bad bits:

Of course to every high there must be a low, and online shopping is no different. Although it’s possible to get almost everything on the internet, it’s hard to establish the condition in which you’ll be receiving the product, which means a lot of trust is involved when buying from the internet. See that amazing coat you love? Well, unfortunately, there is no cyber fitting room – buying clothes is a risky operation as there is no way of knowing whether or not it is going to fit, and returning these items isn’t as easy as taking the receipt back to the store for a refund.  

How secure is this?

According to Ruud Boer, the internet shopping world is relatively secure. Of course the shopper needs to be on their guard as mishaps can occur. Much like internet banking, personal details aren’t readily available on the site. A log-in user name and password needs to be authorized before any shopping can commence. Absolutely NO banking details are taken from the sites, as they give you liberty to pay from whichever account you choose. Boer continues to say that identity theft is the biggest concern with shoppers, as this is could give them a bad name within the credit bureau. Obviously if you have a well thought out password, this isn’t likely to happen.

Life made easier.

Online shopping allows us to keep a paper trail of all of our purchases and is quick and easy to use. Even though you may not receive your purchase immediately, you have done the purchasing in a less stressful environment. Best part is when the parcel arrives, who doesn’t enjoy getting a parcel? Buying gifts for family and friends is made easy due to the large variety online, making sure that your gift will be unique. 

So get yourselves out of bustling malls and never ending queues, and get shopping online… where the world is really a click away.

All the small things

...when you are afflicted with a lazy partner! I explore the lack of balance in housework and parenting that plagues many homes...

Do you wish you and your significant other could swap places, if only for a day? You’re not alone. A relationship with a man can be exhausting, as men assume that they know what we, as women, want out of our relationships. But do they really?

Different people show they care in different ways; in general, most red-blooded males assume that physical intimacy is a good enough way to show their love. Sure, intimacy is a big part of any relationship; but it’s not what makes it work.

Not all women are after sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Most women seek security and simple acts that show that their man really cares.

What do the men say?

When asking a group of married men to describe their relationship with their wives; most of them said that they have great relationships. One husband, let’s call him Dan, explained that he and his wife discuss their days every evening and have a very honest relationship.

The men also explained that they do help around the house: cleaning up the garden, watching the children and on the odd occasion some would cook. However, very few of them mentioned picking up after the children (or themselves!), or volunteering to take the reins in the kitchen for a week.

The women's verdict

When the women were asked what they would like their husbands to do more in their relationships, sexual needs weren’t at the top of their list. They wanted help; the kind of help that could make their lives easier around the house.

Helping to organise the children’s lunches for the next day, cleaning up after them, and assisting in the kitchen are a few examples which came up quite often. 

"According to the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, women spent an average of 27 hours a week on housework in 2002, while men spent 16 hours," says American journalist, Leslie Bennetts. "Even today, married men perform little more than a third of household labour, whether or not their wives or partners are in the paid labour force. And women spend more than twice as much time as men do on child care."

Three types of lazy

Dr Joshua Coleman, author of The Lazy Husband, recognises three types of lazy husbands (we’ll put boyfriends in the same category). The first is the ‘boy-husband’ He will act helpless and incompetent when it comes to doing anything around the house.

Next, we get the ‘perfectionist husband’ who wants everything to be done right, but won’t help in achieving this.

And lastly there is the ‘angry husband’ who intimidates his wife with his irritation so that she would rather not ask for his help. Do any of these sound familiar?

This is not to say that all men are lazy: there are men out there that are very happy helping out around the house and supporting their wives in every way they can.

What can we do?

Encouraging your significant other rather than asking (which men think is nagging) goes a lot further in our quest for getting the help we so need. So the next time you’re swapping between the stove top and bathing the children, while your man is loafing on the couch, negotiate with him.

Give him a cause for taking out the rubbish or watching the children. Nagging only creates tension, whereas encouragement reaps rewards, even if it’s helping with the small things.

Smart phone? Social butterfly?

Samantha Dent

Open laptop, connect to the web and the first site entered is Facebook, the fastest growing social networking site in the world. Social networking is growing faster than the Gautrain can reach OR Tambo from Sandton. It can be accessed from any portal, especially with the newest techno trend… The smartphone.

America’s problem?

America seems to be the biggest culprit where social media is concerned. We, in South Africa, mainly usually use our social networks for exactly that, social networking. The American lifestyle is quick and the people live on their phones. In a recent survey, created by Zach Epstein, it was found that 33% of the Americans who took part would “sooner give up sex for a week than go without their phones for the same period of time.” A further 70% said they would rather give up alcohol, and 22%would part ways with their toothbrushes.

New age

But why? Society, nowadays, is so career driven that the chance missing a call, email or reminder is inexcusable. Knowing that an email can be answered as soon as you get it is seen as “a gift from the technology Gods”. The rise in population of Smart phones has made it impossible to stay away from the office.

Multi-tasker…

The added incentive of accessing social networking sites such as, Facebook and Twitter on your Blackberry Torch while on a treadmill at the gym has made communication easier. Solving crises at work while at gym? Seems like a dream. In the same survey, Epstein learns that a shocking 66% of smartphone owners admit to taking their phone to bed with them; and 31% check their phones in the cinema.

Small world

Social media is easy to access, and any 10 year old with access to the internet probably has a profile on Facebook. Without Facebook, we wouldn’t have come in contact with that friend that moved to Australia in your youth, you wouldn’t see what half your Matric class is up to now through the photos they share. Let’s face it, social media has done two (if not many more) radical things to our lives, it’s made the world a very small place to live, as well as much less private place to live.

According to British blogger Jake Hird, Facebook claims that half of its users log into Facebook every day, that’s a cool 175 million people on one site in 24 hours. Twitter, according to Hird, has 75 million active users on their site.

Ask yourself…

Are you addicted to staring at the screen of your shiny smartphone? Do you love scrolling through your NewsFeed on Facebook every 5 minutes to see if anything new has appeared? If you do, then you need to stop and think about how much of life you are missing out on, in the real world. So step away from the laptop/ blackberry / iPad or whatever mode of technology you are using, and experience real life social networking… face to face with those close to you. Don’t become a statistic.

THE SOUNDRACK OF OUR LIVES

Everyone has that one song that reminds him or her of a special, funny or even sad moment in their lives, the soundtracks of our lives are made up of memorable songs that link up with close memories.

Imagine…

Imagine if your life had a soundtrack, and every mood, every action and every word had a different note. Imagine for one minute what the background music in your life would be. Now go one step further, add lyrics. Do you find yourself thinking of a specific song? Or are you making one up in your mind? Think back on all the good times in your lives, what song makes you think of those memories? For me I have countless songs, for instance my “happy song” at the moment is “Safety Dance” by the band Men without Hats (made popular again by the TV program “Glee”), this song makes me feel like I can do anything.

Don’t worry, be happy

Happy memories are always linked to a song, no matter how much you try to deny this. Think back to your wedding day, graduation, the last day of high school. What song reminds you of all of these moments? Songs for leaving High School for me were “I’m so Excited” by the Pointer Sisters and Whitney Housten’s “Greatest Love of All” Your wedding song, will always be a special song as it was picked out by you and signifies a lot in your life.

We’re all going on summer holiday…

Going on holiday? Taking a break from the office for a short stint of beach sand and relaxation; a mojito in your hand and your ready to chill. What songs come to mind? The Beach Boys, the Beatles, or Cliff Richards pop into my mind just thinking of the beach. Christmas holidays are filled with cheer as “Jingle Bells” blasts through the sound system. Memories made with music in the background.

Don’t Rain on my Parade

Music can be used inspire and to motivate us to carry on and keep our heads up. Artists like Avril Lavigne, Good Charlotte and even heavy rockers My Chemical Romance have sung songs to motivate the youth of today, sort of ‘anthems’ that become cult favourites. If you’re having a bad day, and nothing seems to be going your way, which song do you turn to, to relieve a bit of the stress? As a fan of the show tunes, my personal favourite would be Barbara Streissand’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade” from the Broadway hit “Funny Girl”. When that song plays through my car speakers I know I can commit to getting through the day.

Greatest hits…

Memories, whether happy or sad, can be remembered in a number of ways, photos always capture the mood and if you’re lucky enough, there’s a video recording. But next time you’re driving in your car and a song comes on the radio, suddenly a memory flashes across your mind consider this, if you could link your memories to songs, will you only fill a single CD; or will you have a box set?

Wine and Chocolate

The legendary beauty, Marilyn Monroe, once said that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Madonna even sang about this in her wildly popular song, “Material Girls.” But how happy does a rock really make a woman? Diamonds have never mended a broken heart; diamonds are hard and cold and only really bring about happiness once, or twice, in a woman’s life. Wine and chocolate, on the other hand, can be enjoyed as often as we want. And isn’t that what we want most in a “best friend”?

Why whine, when there’s wine,

Wine, regardless of colour, is a fun addition to any gathering; add a chocolate fondue and you have a party. Even the great author, Ernest Hemmingway, had this to say about wine, “Wine … offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than possibly any other purely sensory thing which may be purchased." Who would have thought that a drink made from pressing a large amount of grapes together, along with some other ingredients, and leaving it to ferment in barrels for years, would make a woman relax? Wine, according to the English Poet Lord Byron “cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, and makes weariness forget his toil.”

… Give them chocolate!!!

Although us ladies are rather conscious of our figures nowadays, there is one thing that makes most of us weak at the knees, and no ladies, it’s not Brad Pitt (unless, of course he’s holding a box). It’s chocolate; dark, milky, white, nutty, or even the minty kind, us girls can’t resist that smooth creamy, chocolaty taste. So what if we’re trying to fit into that pair of jeans, or have a wedding the next day; we will always have a soft spot for chocolate. Malin Ackerman (Hollywood actress) says, “I can't walk by chocolate without eating it.” Even the beautiful Audrey Hepburn had a love for chocolate, “a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.”

Nothing soothes a broken heart quite like a box of chocolates and a box of tissues. Chocolate always has a way to make the heart smile even though it feels as though it’s been smashed into pieces. I, personally, think that the chocolate melts to form glue, and this makes your heart whole again. It may not look pretty at the time, but it helps.

Fun times ahead

Wine is a drink best shared among friends, and chocolate is a perfect addition. Wine and chocolate make social gathering festive and fun at any time of the year. Best friends are the same, they cheer you up when you’re feeling down, are always up for a great time, and any amount of time with them makes life a lot less dreary. Wine and chocolate are the new best friends, diamonds are however, always welcome.

Girls

Being a girl in society nowadays is as they say, “a piece of cake.” I mean who doesn’t like being looked down upon by the elders as they walk down the cramped aisles of the local grocery store? Which girl doesn’t like the constant pressures that media puts on them about their bodies?

What I just said, I hope no-one takes as true, as it’s completely false. What normal girl would say that? The pressure, the scrutiny; to be a girl nowadays is not easy at all. A girl can’t express her own, personal style without it being critiqued by panel of snooty “professionals” assessing the cut and fabric. Does this really matter? At least this happens in the world of celebrity, but how does this type of judgmental attitude toward others’ choices translate to the everyday girl walking along any street? Who died and made Joan Rivers the authority over whom and what should be worn?

Style is supposed to be about expressing yourself to the outside world. Some prefer smart attire, whereas others prefer to be casual. It’s your CHOICE. No-one should dictate your style. No-one should have to conform to the masses just because of what someone says in a magazine or a TV show. People find it funny that some don’t wear labels, well this is where I say that it doesn’t matter what you wear, or who you wear. It’s about how you wear it. If you feel uncomfortable in a certain style, then change it until you do. No one person can force you to wear something you don’t feel comfortable or confident in… and it shows. Someone who spends the days in jeans and an oversized sweat shirt might be confident in that, may not feel perfectly comfortable in a mini dress and 9 inch stilettos.

But why do we listen to these so-called “fashion experts”? Do they know what your personal style is? NO!! They don’t even know you. But we all fall in the trap they set for us in the glossy pages of the fashion rags that line the shelves in the supermarkets. Why do we buy into the hype of looking “hot”? Is Paris really that much of a trend-setter? I really hope not considering the track record she’s laid out for herself lately. Are the Kardiashians really keeping it real? Why do we follow after these wealthy people and try so hard to emulate what they do?.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, if you believe that you are beautiful then you will glow. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is confident with whom she is, confident in her own skin and is projecting her true self into the world. There is nothing uglier than a fake, a carbon copy of something else. Fakeness is unattractive, and oozes selfishness – the type of selfishness that goes hand-in-hand with serious confidence issues. If you can’t be yourself, how do you expect to pull off another person? Sooner or later that “other” person will become you, and where will that leave the real person?

Experience vs Opportunity

Are you currently doing what you dreamed of doing your whole life? Are you the princess you pretended to be all those years ago? Are you the fireman- saving the damsels in high, burning towers- that you would dream of as a youngster? No? Well, don't feel so disappointed, as many of us haven't become what our childhood dreams made us believe we would be one day. Let's face it, things were a whole lot easier back then. Back then, you could walk around with a paper cone on your head, and get away with calling it a "crown". Back then you could pretend to be anything from a mother or a teacher to being a fairy or a robot.

Nowadays, pretending is not viable as a career. When you "grow up" and have to face the "big, bad world" pretending to be something won't cut it. Finding the prince nowadays is not as easy as it might be in childhood stories. And even though Kate Middleton managed to charm her Prince William, she's quite a rare exception.

The rate of unemployment in South Africa has been on a steady incline for the past two years. According to the IndexMundi since 2008 the unemployment rate has risen over 13%. Its scary to see such stats, especially since our government is calling for international tradesmen to find jobs in our country. (apparently we don't have qualified people in our own country.)

The reason why most of us are sitting, tied to uncomfortable office jobs, is because we lack the experience to fill the positions we so wish to fill. And how are we meant to get this desired experience? well we're meant to find a company that will give us an opportunity to work for free.

I don't know about you, but doesn't spending thousands of hard earned South African rands on tertiary education count as some sort of sign. A sigh that should shout out loud and clear, "I am qualified" or "GIVE ME A CHANCE"; no, instead we get BEE shoved in our faces and the position will be given to someone less qualified purely because the colour of his/her skin gives her the experience needed. I don't understand how the colour of my skin can be the deciding factor on whether or not i'm good enough for a job. I thought this country was over the discrimination factor.

Many companies have small print at the bottom of vacancy ads which read " gives every candidate and equal and fair opportunity" How much truth is really in that statement? Are they really fair in their decisions?

I don't know how many interviews I've been to, but the feeling of rejection always leaves that bitter taste in my mouth. It never changes, its always the same awful taste of disappointment and giving up.

Should I give up on my dream to be a writer? Should I continue on this road of disappointment?

I don't think so.